Dear Sir, I was wondering if you can share some details in respect to the ‘romance’ part of your journey if any. I’m currently in my first time training with a Sir, and am not sure if we are ever going to go on any dates again now that we’ve started playing! I think I will muster up the courage to ask him one day. What do you think? Thank you.

There were no dates, romance, nor search for love. Dominance, submission and (soon) ownership had sovereign priority. Feelings – and they may be strong – emerged naturally in due time, but that is neither where it started, nor what is expected to be the ultimate foundation. she is Owned and that is it. And nothing she can change – feelings run their course up and down under the shield of being owned, and the responsibility of ownership. Having said that, I may detect in your question a well-known tendency in BDSM-relations to reduce oneselves (ie. your Dom does as he carries the overall responsibility) to just sessions. How amazing and hypnotizing they may be, they will not carry you beyond a certain point. For depth, genuineity, and sustainability – if that is what you seek – ordinary life (however one defines that) needs to enter your D/s relation (or vice versa if you like). I am not sure about “dates”, but I am sure you will need to integrate everyday life somehow. Finally, female subs tend to need the everyday and sustainability more than dom males do – a typical tension in this world.

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